Sadly, one of the major reasons I was first excited to become a stay-at-home-mom was so that I could have me time. I thought that while my son slept I could blog, paint my nails, shop online, spend time of Facebook, catch up on my favorite shows and watch movies, but the last few weeks I've noticed myself getting frustrated when my son won't nap because sometimes it monopolizes my "me time" and the time I get to connect with my husband at the end of the day. In frustration and exhaustion, I took to the stay-at-home-mom discussion board on BabyCenter. I wrote a post asking for advice on generating good family balance and got a response that unintentionally put me in my place. A woman responded to my plea for guidance by explaining her schedule and that she uses two of her child's naps a week to do things for herself. WHAT!? Only two naps a week? Then it hit me. I'm not a stay-at-home-mom so that I can blog, paint my nails, shop online, spend time of Facebook, catch up on my favorite shows and watch movies. I'm a stay-at-home-mom so that I can serve God and my family by raising my son and taking care of our home and affairs. This was a total game changer.
I then started thinking about all of the days since I became a stay-at-home-mom when I had felt unaccomplished, times when dishes had gone unwashed or my son had gone without tummy time or a bath in days, and realized that I was the reason I wasn't getting things done. I was trying to take too much time for myself.
Please don't misunderstand me though, I do know that it's important as a parent to take time for yourself and it is very important to try to nap at least once a day while your child naps, but I found myself rushing through feedings, burping, and play time so that I could lay my son down for his nap so I could watch The Price is Right or look at the new clothes on Target's website. That wasn't the type of mom I wanted to become, and thankfully, the solution was easy to see. I decided that I would make my daily goals, which were very attainable, happen. I would use one of my sons naps a day to also lay down an take a nap, but I would put chores and my son first, and if I had a nap available after my daily goals had been met, then I would turn on a show or shop online.
Since directing my attention away from myself and toward God and serving Him and my family, I feel so much happier and more fulfilled. I find myself enjoying the little moments with my son, feeling accomplished and relieved that I got chores done, and less stressed and angered at my husband (who wasn't doing anything wrong by the way). This also made me think and reflect upon a recent sermon at my church about the vocation of family. The whole sermon is awesome, but if you're trying to find the part that discusses how we serve God through taking care of our children, it's at about 14:30.
"Luther used to say that when a mother changes the dirty diapers of her infant child, she is at the same
time serving God." - Pastor Teike
I hope to think about the words of this sermon as I change my son's diapers and as I take more time to enjoy as many moments with him as I possibly can. I also plan to continue directing my attention more onto serving God by working hard for my family.
Happy Living & God's Blessings!
J.M.
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