American culture today has subdued the traditional foundation of a woman's place being in the home, taking care of her husband and her children, and heightened the theory that women can do more and be more. But when did being a mom, a wife, and a homemaker become less desirable and not enough? Why is my role looked at as a temporary situation rather than a lifelong profession?
While other little girls dreamed about their future weddings or realized that they wanted to become teachers or astronauts when they grew up, I dreamed about my future family and my future home. I played house, spent hours setting up my Barbie Folding Pretty House and cutting apart JCPenny catalogs. I had big dreams for my future, but none of them centered around a career in the professional workforce. My mother was a stay-at-home-mom, and I aspired to be just like her. She did it all, balancing cooking, cleaning, crafts and carpools, and she did it with a supportive smile. My mom eventually returned to work when my brother and I were well into elementary school, but her presence in our early lives was more than demonstrative of our successes.
The debate over a mothers' work status is nothing new. There are countless articles and journals that depict whether or not it is better for children to have a working mother or a stay-at-home-mom. Some studies suggest that children who attend daycare are more eager to reach developmental and social milestones than children with stay-at-home moms. But really, I believe that all children develop at their own pace, flourishing in some areas sooner than others. My own son is proof of this since he crawled at six months, pulled up at seven months and walked during his eighth month, which is supposedly rare. Some might argue that my presence at home provided the necessary encouragement for him to reach milestones at such a rapid rate. But I feel blessed to be able to stay home with my children and to see them grow up. I know that not all of the women who wish to stay home are able to, but my husband and I made lots of plans ahead of time to make sure I could fulfill this dream.
Now that my son is 9 months old, numerous people have asked me when I plan on going back to work. That question almost always catches me off guard, as if what I'm doing now is not considered work. As if I'm playing house and need to grow up soon and get back into the workforce. But what if being in the workforce isn't my calling? What if that's not where I belong? What if I belong in the home, making sure my family is taken care of?
Being a stay-at-home-mom and homemaker today is sometimes viewed as holding back the decades of progress women's rights movements have made. That those still in the home are causing a gender equality regression, but I refuse to apologize for living my dream and fulfilling my calling. I refuse to apologize to feminists for not "doing my part" to close wage gaps and help fight for gender equality. That stuff does not bother me nor does it speak to me. What speaks to me is devoting my time and energy to loving and taking care of my husband and our children. I don't need to hold a career outside of my home to feel self-worth or to prove to anyone that I am somebody. Being a mom is more than enough for me to feel satisfied and accomplished in life. Other women are driven by other things, and some women are driven by the success and status of their careers, which is fine. I'm not knocking anyone's choice, whether it be to stay home, to work, or to not have children, because I know that each of these choices are not for the faint of heart. It takes a combination of patience, gumption, courage, drive, and perseverance to make any of those choices, and sometimes, these choices are made for us rather than by us. My choice however, is to stay at home, taking care of my house, my husband and my children, and for that I will never be sorry, but only honored and grateful.
Being a mom is more than enough.
Happy Living & God's Blessings!
