A Revelation and My 2016 Goal - Living Intentionally

I can recall many times in my life when I have had revelations, especially times when my revelations have been faith based. One recollection comes from my senior year of college, when I was actively pursuing God for the first time in my life, and I was in the process of reading The Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren. Parts of that book influenced me so much that I told my college friends that I would no longer go out dancing and socially drinking with them because there was really no purpose behind doing so. They thought I was nuts, and at the time, I had just started dating my, now, husband. I remember telling him that I was going to stop doing all pointless activities, even if they were fun, because they played no purpose in the life God wanted me to live. My husband listened very gently, as he always has, and suggested that God doesn't want us to not experience fun and joy, but that perhaps some of my activities could be eliminated and that time could be better used for other things. Most of the time, like in that story, he is wise beyond his years.

I had another revelation a few days ago after seeing this clip from Francis Chan circulating on my Facebook newsfeed.

This clip blew my mind, similar to the way Rick Warren's book altered my perspective on life. It made me physically look around my room, and realize that while I have a blessed life to have a home for my family to live in, and ample amounts of clothes for us to wear and cascades of things surrounding us.... none of these things matter. As humans, we're so caught up in our earthly lives that center around us and our successes, but our Earthly lives should be focused on serving others, having little, loving lots, and centering everything around Jesus and our eternal salvation. My clothes don't matter, the items that fill my cabinets and garage don't matter, because things are things and things can't come with us to heaven. Life is about relationships, touching people's hearts, opening people's minds, and sharing the love of Christ along with the good news! 

This sudden shift in my focus made me want to pack up all of our belongings sell them, and move to a foreign country to witness. When I shared this idea with my wonderful husband, he thought I was just talking about one of my many big ideas and told me that while my intentions were great, that didn't make sense for us because we are so settled in our lives here in Indiana, where my husband is a called Lutheran School Teacher and an online graduate student, where we have our home and 95% of our family. I can see where his initial shock stemmed from, since mission work is something I have felt God drawing me towards for a long time, but I never really shared those stories with my husband. In high school, I had the desire to join the National Guard to serve others, but my mother put an end to that idea as she said it would break her heart (also keeping in mind that this was only 3 years after after 9/11 so of course she was scared to death by this idea). Then in college, I felt this call to serve overseas but knew my parents wouldn't necessarily be in support of me moving and working halfway around the world so I found an opportunity through Americore to serve in the United States. I had all of my paperwork filled out and turned in when I met my, now, husband and knew that serving through Americore at that time didn't make sense as I felt our connection leading towards marriage, so again, I changed my plans. Now, fast forward 5 years, I'm a happily married, stay-at-home-mom of an awesome 6 month old little boy. Becoming a wife and mother has been my dream and two of three specific vocations I have felt God calling me to do. The third vocation is the one I've been struggling to find time for and interpret for years, serving others. I still feel God trying to lead me into mission work overseas and I have never found that flame less conducive than it is now that my family and I are so settled in our lives here in Indiana.

Last night I found myself in tears as I reflected on my life and God's plan for my life as the two ideas seemed so conflicted. Then a friend shared a prayer from the book Beautiful Uncertainty, by Mandy Hale, and in His perfect timing and Mandy's beautiful wording, I felt a sense of peace. 

After many tears, on my end, and much discussion, my husband admitted that he doesn't feel that now is the right time for us to pursue family mission work. I did however, feel a sense of hope as the discussion came to a close with my husband saying that he will pray and try to keep his heart open to the possibility of God calling us overseas. 

Though I'm uncertain where God will lead myself and my family, I have chosen a goal for 2016: to live intentionally. Life on Earth is short, it is not the end, nor is the success and fulfillment of life on Earth the end goal, but rather the bridge to eternal life. I hope to live intentionally by helping others, serving my family, witnessing, praying, hoping, longing for Jesus, guiding, fighting, learning, and loving.

Happy Living & God's Blessings!

J.M.