Honest Expectations of Motherhood & Parenting: Perceptions From a Naive Mother-to-be

I am almost 35 weeks pregnant, but I can tell you that I've had my ideas of what exactly motherhood and parenting would be like way before I even found out I was pregnant. I decided to risk embarrassment and list out what I think motherhood and parenting will be like BEFORE I'm actually a parent and then join you in laughing at my naivety a few weeks, months, or even years down the road. To defend myself a bit, I do realize that motherhood isn't endless mornings or breakfast in bed and parenthood isn't all about sleeping in and having perfectly behaved children, but let's see if I am on point with anything pre-parenthood!

1. I will be tired as a stay-at-home mom, but it will be nice having a flexible schedule during the day to squeeze in mundane tasks such as grocery shopping, doctor appointments, oil changes, etc.
2. Grocery shopping will be a breeze since I will wear my baby in my ergo carrier to keep my cart empty (more room for food) and my hands free.
3. I will nail down a great schedule that works well for me, baby and dad.
4. I will set aside time everyday to get housework done while baby is in the swing or napping.
5. I will take time for myself to blog, look through helpful Pinterest pins, meal plan, work on our budget, and do daily devotions.
6. Breastfeeding will be pleasant and after practice we will get it down pat. (I cringe actually typing this one out, hoping not to jinx myself!)
7. I will have dinner ready when my husband comes home from work.
8. We will have healthier meals now that I will have more time to cook.
9. Baby and I will take walks everyday in the stroller (maybe walk at the mall in the winter months) and we will attend classes and mommy-baby activities.
10. I will make tons of mommy friends and my husband and I will become friends with parents that have kids the same age as ours. 
11. In the summer months baby and I will play outside.
12. We will refrain from showing our child TV and electronics until they are at least one years old to prevent over-stimulation.
13. We will teach our children to be well behaved and quiet in church.
14. We will use baby-led weaning when it's time to start our children on solid foods.
15. We will be very involved, but not helicopter, parents.
16. We will teach our children manners, self control, and the importance of faith and family.

I realize that my list could go on and on, but I figure this is a good place to start. Here's to hoping I can get this motherhood thing down and Andrew and I can be great parents! But maybe the real lesson here is that great motherhood and parenting are unattainable, as they are skills that require constant growth. I'll let you know in a few months!

Happy Living & God's Blessings!

J.M.

Tips & Tricks to Remember for My Next Pregnancy

I'm currently 34 weeks and 5 days pregnant with Graham! We're getting close to his EDD (estimated due date) and Andrew and I are getting more and more excited with each passing day. While I'm still not finished with my first pregnancy, I have definitely recognized some tips & tricks that I need to remember for my next pregnancy. 

1. Don't buy all maternity clothes in the beginning - by month 7, 8 and 9 these cute pieces probably won't cover your belly anymore.
2. Sleeping with a pillow between your knees makes a world of difference when trying to get comfortable.
3. If you get restless during the night or wake up and can't fall back to sleep, take a warm shower - works like a charm.
4. Water isn't always the best hydration method - drink little bottles of G2 Gatorade to help replenish electrolytes! (I like drinking one in the morning, one in the afternoon, and one in the middle of the night if I wake up sweating {9 times out of 10..I do!})
5. Coconut oil works much better than cocoa butter on stretch marks and dry, itchy nipples. (I bought a jar of it and scooped a small portion into a tiny Tupperware container that is kept in the bathroom where I do my evening routine) 
6. Going to bed early is not shameful, it rocks! 
7. When you wake up before your alarm and your husband is peacefully sleeping next to you, take in your surroundings. Love the life God has blessed you with and take a moment to thank Him for it.
8. Not everyone has crazy pregnancy cravings, and that's okay. (The one thing I craved, if at all, was cheese)
9. When morning sickness is ruining you, get medicine from your doctor and eat Skinny Popcorn and string cheese like it's going out of style.
10. Don't weigh yourself everyday, but do keep track of your weight once a week.
11. Don't get frustrated when you seem to gain multiple pounds overnight, it will even itself out.
12. Telling your husband that the baby needs Calcium is the best excuse to get ice cream.
13. Taking Tums every time you have heartburn may actually make you have heartburn more often, or at least it will make you feel like your throat is melting from the inside out.
14. The gummy prenatal vitamins rock!
15. If you have morning sickness or nausea, try taking your prenatal vitamins at night, it really does help.
16. Don't use a broom while pregnant. ever! - The three times I swept my floor or the sidewalk while pregnant, I had the most painful, throbbing arms, chest, jaw and ears! I went to the doctor for it the first time it happened and they thought it was from the motion of sweeping. I'm pretty sure they're right. It's the most painful experience I've ever had and I was stupid and went through it three different times. You can't sleep, Tylenol doesn't work...just don't use a broom. at. all.
17. Getting the nursery ready early is not a bad thing, no matter how much you get teased about it. Feel good that you're ahead of the game.
18. Have your hospital bags packed early, there's not harm in being prepared.
19. Make a list of things that must be grabbed last minute before labor and set it on top of the hospital bags. Let your husband know that the list is there. Make him read it early and often - who knows what the sheer panic of labor will do to his comprehension skills.
20. Practice installing the car seat before you actually need it.
21. Ask friends, family and others for advice on which brands to register for, but don't feel you need to take their recommendations at full value. 
22. Join a mom or parent chat board - the support and answers you can get from internet strangers can actually be comforting and helpful. (I use BabyCenter and love it. I tried TheBump and the "community" wasn't my cup of tea)
23. Dig into that Pinterest board you've had for months with zillions of baby pins - now is the time to start absorbing parenting and baby knowledge like a sponge.
24. If your husband offers to rub your feet or back, do the dishes or do anything helpful, say yes. They really do want to feel like they're making life a little easier on us, and bless their hearts for it!
25. When you can't seem to sit through an hour of church because you're hot and about to pass out, bring a cold water bottle with you and discretely sip it when you feel faint or put it on your wrist when you feel overheated.
26. When you buy BellyBands in the beginning of pregnancy, thinking that you will wear them over your pre-pregnancy jeans to get longer use out of them, think again. BellyBands are much more useful when you have layers of maternity clothes that seem to make you muffin-top like a baker, so use them to smooth out your rolls.
27. Wash all baby clothes, blankets, sheets, towels and hats before baby comes and use a hypoallergenic detergent. (We chose All Free & Clear instead of baby specific detergent, that way we can wash our clothes mixed in with baby's)
28. Spending an hour or more in 80* heat will wipe you out! Make sure to stay hydrated and don't stay in the heat longer than you need to - you'll feel like you got hit by a bus if you do.
29. Use pregnancy apps on your phone to stay in tune with your baby's growth and to help get you and your husband excited for baby. (We like the What To Expect When You're Expecting app and I use BabyCenter to track kick counts and chat with other moms on my birth broad)
30. You will probably get more rude comments than you could have imagined because people think they're being cute or funny, but just complain about it to your husband and then let it roll off your back. 
31. If you're still working and you have a desk job, set an alarm on your phone or FitBit to remind you to stand every hour - your feet and ankles will thank you for it.
32. It's okay if you end up eating a cold, Jimmy Johns sandwich every now and again - they really don't taste that great warmed up anyway.
33. When you wake up sweating and feel like your skin is going to melt off, drink a little G2 Gatorade - it cools you down and helps you feel refreshed almost instantly.
34. When your feet swell, it's okay if the only thing that fits your chubby feet are cute rhinestone sandles. (I can't get my feet into any closed shoes)

 Happy Living & God's Blessings!

J.M.