What I Learned From Working Four Years in a Preschool

There was an Early Childhood Education Center on my college campus and it served as a full-day preschool/daycare facility for the surrounding area as well as a place for students to work and train if they were going into Early Childhood Education. I entered college as an Education major, but quickly switched to business as I witnessed the economy declining before my eyes in 2008. Although my major and area of study changed, I still saw it worthwhile to take a job in the 2-3 year old classroom during my four year education. I always knew that I wanted children, but besides babysitting, nannying and volunteering at Vacation Bible school, I really knew nothing about children and their capabilities. After spending time working with the different age groups, newborn-4 years old, I found myself learning not just new things about children, but about caring for children and they way they learn; all valuable tools I would use one day as a parents. Here are some of the things I learned while working in a preschool with 2-3 year olds.

1. 2-3 year olds are capable of following directions.
2. 2-3 year olds know the difference from right and wrong.
3. 2-3 year olds can empathize with others if shown how. 
4. 2-3 year olds are capable of self soothing.
5. 2-3 year olds can demonstrate responsibility.
6.  2-3 year olds can feed themselves.
7. 2-3 year olds can use scissors.
8. 2-3 year olds can use the potty.
9. 2-3 year olds can remember song lyrics and dance moves.
10. 2-3 year olds can pray before they eat.
11. 2-3 year olds can have manners.
12. 2-3 year olds can wash their hands by themselves.
13. 2-3 year olds can share.

While some of you may already know some or all of these things, the idea behind this post is the fact that children this young can do these things IF they are taught how to do them, IF the thoughts or actions are reinforced, and IF the children are given the chance to try these things and succeed. If you or someone you know is a helicopter parent and doesn't give a child the chance to try these skills, it will take much longer for the child to become independent. One of the biggest things that bothers be is when parents say "my child isn't ready to ___" whether it be potty train or give up their pacifier, of course the child isn't ready, you have to teach them that it's time! If we leave everything up to when our children are ready, they would never take naps, they would go to bed once they've passed out on their toys, they would never brush their teeth or take a bath, they would stay in diapers forever and they would never listen. 

So to help you be a proactive parent, here are some of the ways you can encourage your child to do these things or feel these things independently. 

1. 2-3 year olds are capable of following directions. If you use simple words or pictures to teach your child what you're asking of them and reinforce it by teaching them multiple times a day or multiple times a week, the child will understand. For example, if you want to teach your child to clean up his or her dishes after eating, start by telling your child "In two minutes, it's time to clean up your dishes". Once that two minutes has passed, start by using the hand-over-hand technique and help your child pick up his or her plate, walk to the trash can, help them scrape the extra food into the trash and then walk over to the sink and drop the plate in. Use hand over hand for the first few times or on days when your little one is being fussy. Parents, this age group can handle tasks like this, start them early and you will see much more responsible children from an earlier age. 
2. 2-3 year olds know the difference from right and wrong. Instead of going with your gut reaction of saying "no" when a child is about to do something wrong, instead redirect their attention away from the misbehavior OR explain to them why it's bad. For example, if a child is about to stick their finger in the electrical socket, don't just say no, because curiosity will get the best of them on this one. Instead, say "Johnny let's go play with your toy" OR say "Johnny, you don't want to stick your finger there because it will hurt and you will be sad". Make sure to use words that they can understand, but there's no need to use baby words either, like boo boo.
3. 2-3 year olds can empathize with others if shown how. For example, if your child is playing with another child and your child hurts the other child, get down on your child's level, make sure you and your child are looking at the hurt child, and say "Johnny, you just hurt Sammy. Look at how sad she is. Do you see her tears? She did not like that. Can you please tell Sammy you're sorry and give her a hug?" You might not get the apology you're wanting from your child at this exact moment, and if not, walk away with your child, explain it again and give your child the opportunity to go back up to the hurt child and say sorry. Children are capable of understanding empathy if you teach them how. 
4. 2-3 year olds are capable of self soothing. So many parents are guilty of tending to their children every time they cry, and let's face it, that doesn't give you much time for anything and it teaches your child that if they cry, you'll come running. 2-3 year olds, and even infants, are capable of self soothing if given the opportunity. For example, if you are leaving your child with a babysitter, and your child starts crying and not wanting to let you go, calmly say "Johnny, Mommy loves you and she will see you in a little bit. You're going to have so much fun with ____! Make sure you show _____ your new puzzle!" then give your child a big hug and a big kiss and pass them off to the babysitter. This will be hard for you and for your child at first, but if you get your child into a routine of a "big kiss and a big hug" then the separation anxiety will go away over time. It's hard for young kids to understand that Mommy or Daddy will come back, and you can even remind the child when you return by saying "See? Mommy always comes back for you!".
5. 2-3 year olds can demonstrate responsibility. Just as older students are given classroom jobs, 2-3 year olds are capable of being given reoccurring tasks too. You may have to remind this age group of the task that needs to be completed and when, but they can handle the responsibility if it's a task that is made to seem fun. For example, if you want your 2-3 year old to sweep the floor, try taping off a 12" x 12" tile or section on your floor with a fun colored painters tape and make sweeping into a game by getting a pile into the square for them and asking them to sweep it into the dust pan. You may want to consider buying a broom and dustpan or hand broom and dustpan that is their size so they can really get into helping.
6.  2-3 year olds can feed themselves. While I'm not sure if it's the parents that are more attached to doing things for their children and being needed than a child is to being helped, children can feed themselves on their own. However, there are obviously some foods that you will want to continue feeding them that may make a mess if flung from the utensil, such as yogurt or applesauce. If you buy toddler forks and spoons and show a child, using the hand-over-hand technique, they can learn to scoop food on their own and shovel it into their mouth. Not all food will make it from dish to mouth successfully, but it will get better as they develop their motor skills. 
7. 2-3 year olds can use scissors. Children, when taught using the hand-over-hand technique can use scissors, and in fact, letting children make artwork, feed themselves, and use scissors can help develop their fine motor skills which are used for accuracy, writing, and much more down the road. It's okay to give them safety scissors, but make sure to give them things they can cut and play with.
8. 2-3 year olds can use the potty. 2-3 year olds CAN be potty trained. Lots of parents wait for ready signs and try and then think their kids still aren't "ready", but I just don't think that's the case. If you make potty training exciting, by using a sticker chart or incentives, children will be more than happy to at least try. Every time they sit on the potty, make sure they sit for a least 2-3 minutes and have books with you to keep them busy. Also, don't use pull-ups while potty training because to children, they feel just like a diaper. Make sure to use diapers or underwear. You may have to commit to cleaning up a few messes during the potty training phase, but it will be so worth it! Pick a plan, stick with it and don't give into the whole "well my child must not be ready" jargon. 2-3 year olds CAN be potty trained, and I've seen it and assisted in it!
9. 2-3 year olds can listen to stories and remember them. When reading a story to this age group, it's not always necessary to read every word on the page. If you want to keep a child engaged in a story, talk with inflections in your voice and make it brief. The more exciting you make it sound to go along with the pictures, the more they will remember it. Try reading the same story for 3 days and then ask your child what happened in the story or have them tell another family member about the story, you will be surprised what they remember and how cute they retell it!
10. 2-3 year olds can remember song lyrics and dance moves. Surprisingly enough, kids this young CAN remember words and repeat them back to you if they are simple words. You can teach this age group short, fun songs such as "Jesus Loves Me" with hand gestures (which happen to be sign language) and they can learn and remember it with time and repetition.
11. 2-3 year olds can pray before they eat. If you teach a child how to pray or every a simple rhyming or singing prayer, after time and repetition, they can remember it. You can find lots of good kids table prayers online, some of my favorites are the Super Man Prayer, Johnny Appleseed Prayer and Come Lord Jesus.
12. 2-3 year olds can have manners. If you remind your kids early on to say please and thank you, they will learn to say it! Reminding them may be the key at first, but they're capable of remembering to say it after time. 
13. 2-3 year olds can wash their hands by themselves. As long as kids can reach the soap and water, you may find yourself having a hard time stopping them from washing their hands! Kids love sensory play and hand washing is a fun sensory experience that they don't get to do all day long. If you find your children enjoying playing in the sink, try buying or making a water table.
14. 2-3 year olds can share. This age group can share if they are taught how. For example, if Johnny was riding a bike and walks away from the bike to go play with a truck, then it's no longer Johnny's turn no the bike. But we all know that if Freddie picks up the bike and Johnny sees it, he's not going to be happy. If he confront Freddie about using "his" toy, then go up to both boys and drop down to their eye level and explain to Johnny that he was finished using the bike and that it is now Freddie's turn. If Johnny wants another turn, he can play with the bike in 5 minutes. It might also help at this point to redirect Johnny while Freddie rides off into the sunset. 

I sure hope these tips and my experiences working with 2's and 3's can help you and your family! Have questions or comments, post them below! I would love to hear from you!

Happy Living & God's Blessings!

J.M.