Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Soapbox Serenade

So to break away from my usual topics, sort of, I thought I would briefly vent. My husband and I are starting to feel the strain of money issues. Don't get me wrong, we are both very good with our money, however, we both have student loans and a car payment on top of monthly expenses. Let me explain more...

My disgruntled attitude is coming from the viewpoint of a young American (obviously). More specifically, my husband and I attended a four year college, and the fact that we CHOSE to attend a private school was definitely OUR CHOICE, however, we chose a private school because it upheld our personal and religious values, which we felt was imperative to sculpting our education and our world views. That being said, we each spent over $30,000/year! Sure, we had scholarships and some help from our parents, but combined we have over $62,000 in student loans that we owe. Take that plus the cost of living and the starting salaries of fresh graduates, how are we supposed to survive? No wonder generation y and z are living with their parents into their late 20's and 30's...we can't afford to get a college education and we can't afford to be without one! SO, we bust our behinds going to college, to graduate like so many people do these days, struggle to find a job and then when we do, we make minimal salaries that barely support our life with the higher cost of living. I respect my elders, but it's hard to sit there and take it when the baby boomers complain that our generation is lazy, when really, society is crippling our abilities to sustain ourselves! This is such a frustrating realization when all we're trying to be is independent, successful young adults and our country is pushing us down. we're just hardworking Americans trying to live our American Dream, we pay our taxes, we don't break the law and we're still not able to change our circumstances.


How do you feel about this? Leave a comment below!


Happy Living and God's Blessings!
J.M.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Making a House a Home

Making a House a Home 


What makes a house a home? A home is more than just the structure itself; home is a safe haven, filled with love, understanding, struggle, sweat and above all, God. But having a home is a goal that must be worked for. It may take time and energy to really make your house a home and there are many elements involved in this end goal. Let's start with the obvious, a clean home.


A Clean Home = A Happy Home: Let me just start by saying, I know that I have a very small platform to be able to even talk on this subject because I don't have children yet and keeping a home clean while having kids must be an unimaginable feat, but I do have a husband and we can get very lax when we're tired. We sometimes come home so tired and so desperate for one-on-one time together that we change into comfy clothes, leaving our work clothes scattered on the floor...and this can go on ALL WEEK! This tragedy sometimes even doubles on the nights my husband coaches basketball because he wears dress clothes to teach in, brings clothes to coach in and then comes home and puts pajamas on! Bless his heart, but where do all of these clothes end up? On the floor in the living room...ugh! Before I go throwing him under the bus, let me just admit that I am as much of a culprit of this bad habit as he is. We are so busy and so tired during the week that I know if I let every piece of clothing I own pile up in a corner, I'll have time over the weekend to clean, and trust me, by then it's driven me so crazy that I would have cleaned it up anyway. I can't imagine how difficult it will be to keep our humble abode clean once we have high chairs and teething rings sprawled all over creation and three children running around - sigh, but a happy, healthy family is the ultimate dream!

I cleaned up the house today and we discussed helping each other stay on track with putting clothes away at the end of each day. Hopefully it works this time! But honestly, this is a topic under Making a House a Home because having a tidy home truly makes a difference. Where all other aspects of our lives keep us busy and stressed, having a clean home can be one place where the stress of laundry piles and sinks filled with dishes don't have to consume our time. Make a plan that suits your family's style and addresses your family's habits. Get everyone in your home on board and work together to encourage each other to write over the old habits, creating a stress-free mess-free home!


Organize For Life: Keeping with the A Clean Home = A Happy Home theme, staying organized in your home is also on the list because it can make daily life smoother and more successful, resulting in a happier home! You know your home and your family best! In our home, the two very small areas in our very small apartment that I am most proud of are our medicine drawers and our personal files.

In our bathroom we have a deep medicine closet, and with that being said, I brought a pharmacy into our marriage. I have all sorts of cold medicines, cough medicines, allergy medicines...yeah...before I got my tonsils out a few years ago, I got sick a lot! Anyway, we bought two sets of plastic drawers from Walmart and we stored the medications by illness (for example, cold medicine is in one drawer, allergy medicine is in another, etc.). 

I'm also proud of our home filing system. We bought a nice hanging file box and I made files such as:
  • Jenny's Health Files
  • Andrew's Health Files
  • Chase
  • Investments
  • Car Insurance
You can find lots of good outlines to redo your family's files on Pinterest. Some of my other favorite family organization tools can be found in the links below!
Knowing When to Let Go - Giving to the Less Fortunate: Being the granddaughter to people who grew up during the Great Depression, I should have inherited pack-rat tendencies, but instead, I did just the opposite. While members of my family stockpile things that we've never used and have only touched when cleaning the garage, I found the need to recycle my items. I have had a blessed life and was never short of having enough clothes or possessions. My parents did everything in their power to provide for my brother and I and I will forever be appreciative of that. Since I was small, I've always been good at selling my things or giving them away, which is a unique trait in a child, and even now I try to go through my closet and pull out clothes that I don't wear at least once a month. This is such a wonderful thing because so many people are less fortunate and need gently used clothes at more affordable prices. But this can be a challenge for some, like some of my family members, but it's important to remember that God doesn't want us to be consumed by our lives here on earth and what metropolis we have built for ourselves. Sometimes, we struggle to let go of worldly possessions because they hold sentimental value or they belonged to someone we love. This is common, and I'm sure everyone has at lest five material objects that hold some value to them beyond the item's purpose. Letting go of some things to not only de-clutter your home, but also to lead a more Godly life is a healthy choice. The less we cling to our possessions, the more room we have for God in our hearts and in our lives. Worldly possessions are only temporary comforts in this life and Jesus is the only infinite comfort for eternity. 


Family Time: Whether your family consists of just a husband and wife or extended family and kids, family time is still equally important! Turning off electronics, going outside, taking vacations, going to church and so many other activities can be staples in starting traditions and keeping your family connected. 

Some of my favorite links to benefit your marriage can be found below - 

If you enjoyed the links I shared above, check out my Pinterest board: Family Values




Some of my favorite links to benefit your family can be found below - 


If you enjoyed the links I shared above, check out my Pinterest board: Little Feet


What can you and your family do to make your house into a home? Thanks for reading and I hope this inspires you to make changes for the better!





Happy Living & God's Blessings!
J.M.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Spirituality and Why It's Pivotal

Spirituality and Why It's Pivotal 


We've been reading a couple's devotion called Night Light (Click Here to See it on Amazon) since we got married and it's a quick, 5-10 minute time for us to connect to each other and to our Lord on a daily basis. Finding a devotion or something specific that you can connect over on a daily basis is important because it gives you and your spouse something to talk about and expound on. You might be thinking that you have plenty of things to talk to your spouse about, and that is very true, but talking about your faith is a deep and profound topic. We are all confused by out faith at times and who better to struggle with than your spouse? You're not going to have all of the answers and neither will they, but sharing intellectual conversation with your partner helps you connect on a deeper level. These conversations make God happy and they build strong bonds between you, your spouse and God. Prayer, reflection, trust, forgiveness, flexibility and honesty are only some of the ingredients in a good marriage, but everyday is a journey, a day to forgive and a day to do better for yourself, your spouse and God. 

"We who had sweet fellowship together, Walked in the house of God in the throng." - Psalm 55:14


Devotion books can also be helpful because they can bring up tough issues that may be too touchy for you to bring up out of the blue, such as past relationships, attraction to co-workers, helping around the house and even sexually pleasuring your spouse. All sorts of topics hit the homes of all couples hard, even Christian couples, but with discussion, honesty, forgiveness, prayer and faith, God can help you through anything! 


"A successful marriage isn't the union of two perfect people.  It’s that of two imperfect people who have learned the value of forgiveness and grace.  -Darlene Schacht


No matter your circumstance, prayer and faith in God will get you through it, but start with baby steps, like finding a devotion book to read with your spouse. If your spouse has a hard time adapting to this fellowship time, say a prayer about it, and remember that faith can move mountains.








Happy Living & God's Blessings!
J.M.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Introduction

Introduction

My name is Jennifer (Jenny) Montgomery. I am a twenty-something, newlywed who is a self proclaimed O.C.P. (Obsessive Compulsive Planner) just trying to understand God's plans for me and my life. I love good quotes, Pinterest, cuddling, music, genuine creativity, old movies, chap stick, chilly  breezes, traveling the world, and cozy afternoons. More importantly, I love my family, I love my husband, and I love my God. 

In my new series, Getting it Together Because...I'm a Wife,  I'm hoping to delve into what being a Christian means, what being a newlywed means, and what being a wife means. This blog will be wholeheartedly honest, filled with exploration and self discovery, but I'm not trying to discover who I want to be, I'm trying to discover who God wants me to be. Come along for the ride, and maybe God will show you who He wants you to be too!

I've been a newlywed for exactly 137 wonderfully challenging days. Immediately after the wedding, and I'm talking the day after, I moved to Springfield, IL where my husband had gotten a job and where I had gotten a job exactly 3 days before our wedding! (I started that job two days after the wedding) SO... to recap: I got a job, I got married, I relocated, and then I started the new job in under 6 days! Whew! It was a crazy 2013!!!




What have I learned in the past 137 days?
  • Now I think in plural form - I don't just think what do I want for dinner or can I go shopping? Now it's what would we like for dinner and can we afford to go shopping? It's definitely a change you have to get used to.
  • Syncing our Google Calendars has been a lifesaver! Now we can keep each other on track and know when to plan activities around each other's schedule.
  • I have learned to love things he loves. This wasn't something we really had to do much of before we got married because we had a long distance relationship for a little over a year. I've gotten into basketball now that we're married and we're even coaching Jr. High girl's basketball together!
  • Now that I'm married, people ask us when we're going to have kids. We have discussed this, but it's interesting how people feel that it's acceptable to ask you about that now. 
  • We hate being away from each other. This could be because, like I said, we were in a long distance relationship for a little over a year, but we love seeing each other when ever we can. 
  • Quiet time and alone time is rejuvenating. Don't get me wrong, we're not loud or clingy people by any means, but in the mornings Andrew leaves for work before me so he gets ready while I sleep and I get ready after he leaves. This is nice because we get our own space to do our own thing. 
Before the wedding I made a list of what I hoped I would act as a wife, how I hoped we would be act a married couple and how I hoped he would act as a husband, and he made lists too. It was definitely a great idea because it laid out our individual expectations for our marriage and each other before we even said I do. Reviewing it helps me refocus my thoughts, actions and my goals what I want out of our marriage. At times I feel like I've lost sight of being the wife I want to be and I get down on myself, but then I remember that we have the rest of our lives to get it right and I'm still new to this! This isn't an excuse to be terrible to my husband by any means, but it helps me to fathom that life isn't perfect, I'm not perfect and all I can control is my behavior and my responses to each situation as it comes. I need to work on myself and my behaviors in order to be better for my husband. 

We've been reading a couple's devotion called Night Light since we got married and it's a quick, 5-10 minute time for us to connect to each other and to our Lord. Finding a devotion or something specific that you can connect over on a daily basis is pivotal. Prayer, reflection, trust, forgiveness, flexibility and honesty are only some of the ingredients in a good marriage, but everyday is a journey, a day to forgive and a day to do better for yourself, your spouse and God. 

Photo Credit: Kate Kerr Photography


Happy Living & God's Blessings!

J.M.

Wedding Planning 101: Chapter 4



2 months before


The knot's checklist items

MY extra bonus checklist items


  • Buy your accessories - shoes, jewelry, etc.
    • It's easier to wait and do this closer to the end of the process because your accessories are dependent on the whole look of your wedding; modern, classic, elegant. Accessories can also reflect your something old, new borrowed and blue! I used my grandmother's broach in my hair, my mother's pin in my bouquet and jewelry from Charming Charlies. No need to go over board and expensive when you can get the same look while saving a dime! 
Photo Credit: Kate Kerr Photography


  • Buy wedding party gifts
    • I got each of my bridesmaids a Hallmark charm bracelet and one charm each that was special for that person. We did gift cards for our groomsmen and crayola kits for our flower girls/ring bearer.
    • We passed these out at the rehearsal dinner along with handwritten thank you cards. 
    • Plan ahead if you need to wrap these gifts


Photo Credit: Kate Kerr Photography
  • Send Shower Thank you notes
    • Hopefully you did this already. You really shouldn't let more than two weeks go by after the shower before sending thank yous
  • Have your last dress fitting
    • Make sure you bring someone who will help you get dressed on the day to know how to operate, yes operate, your dress and bussel the dress at the end of the night.
    • Also, figure out if you need to get your dress steamed closer to the day or if it will be fine in the garment bag. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A GARMENT BAG for the dress and veil!
  • Finalize your ceremony
    • Call the officiant and make sure you have your date and time set as well as any technology crew booked for your day; microphones, sound system, pianist, etc
  • Get your MARRIAGE LICENSE!!!
    • EEEK! This is a huge, exciting step! Each state has different requirements so make sure to call your local courthouse to find out if you need blood tests, what paperwork you need, how much it will cost and how long it will be valid. 
  • Make a weekend timeline
    • Being me...I made a timeline for the bridal party and for the guests. I only ended up giving this out to the bridal party, but I also found that it was helpful to give to our limo driver, photographer and videographer.
  • Change your name
    • Now this threw me off, The Knot told me to do this before my wedding....but you cn't until you get your marriage license signed by the officiant AFTER your wedding. So I wouldn't worry about this until after.
    • You may want to know though, change your social security card first and then driver's license, credit cards, bills, insurance, leases, etc. (Now you can add your spouse as a beneficiary!)

1 months before

The knot's checklist items

MY extra bonus checklist items


  • Work on a seating chart for the reception
    • On the Knot's website they have a seating chart design tool. It's a bit hard to get used to but as you get responses from the wedding it's easier to find tables for people.

  • Confirm final payments
    • Make sure you know and agree to all of the final payment amounts.
    • Also understand when each payment/final payment is due. Print out a blank calendar and write payments on that if it helps you keep everything straight.
  • Toasts
    • Remind the host/hostess of the rehearsal dinner to have a little thank you toast planned
    • You or your soon-to-be spouse should have something planned as well for the rehearsal dinner
    • Remind the host/hostess of the wedding to have something planned for the wedding (work out with your DJ the timeline for the reception)
    • Remind MOH and BM to have speeches prepared for the reception. It makes it a bit easier on them if you can tell them at what point they will be speaking (ie after the cake is cut or whatever)
  • Have your rehearsal
    • Remind everyone a day or so before the times of the rehearsal dinner and make sure out of town bridal party members have transportation from the airport, train station, etc.
**** CONFIRM everything at least one final time with everyone you can!
**** Make sure family and friends helping with the weekend have jobs or know what to do to keep the day moving so that they won't need to ask you pivotal questions during the day
**** We opted to write letters to each other and said a prayer before the wedding without seeing each other. I also wrote letters to my parents and asked them to write one to me that we read privately the morning of the wedding - good things to think about before the day.



WEDDING DAY!
  • Get married and enjoy the day!
  • Remember everything you can!
  • Try to eat, but you probably won't be about to! But if you're going to drink...EAT!
  • It's okay if you leave the reception early as long as family and friends know what to clean up/take home for you
  • Take time after the ceremony to dismiss your guests to say personal thank yous or go around to each table to say hello to your guests!


Photo Credit: Kate Kerr Photography


Post Wedding
  • Breathe a sigh of relief that your planning is finally over!
  • Remember that no matter what drama happened during this time in your life, doesn't matter any longer!
  • Open gifts and make a list of who gave you what!
  • Write thank yous and get them out NO LATER THAN ONE MONTH AFTER THE WEDDING! I'm a fast writer so I had my hubby sign a bunch of blank cards and I just went through and wrote them. I actually got them done in two weeks! Crazy, I know!
  • Preserve your wedding dress
  • Make sure your groom returns his tux
  • Start Married life and read my next series, Getting it Together Because... I'm a Wife!
Photo Credit: Kate Kerr Photography


Happy Planning and Best Wishes!
Thanks for reading!
J.M.