I'm about to be very open, and I'm very apprehensive about putting this out where people I know may read it, but I think God wants me to tell this little story.
This past week, I thought that Andrew and I were pregnant. I've had every pregnancy symptom in the book since last Tuesday and I was very, very excited, although we weren't exactly trying yet.
I've always made it a goal of mine to be better to my body, and don't get me wrong, I haven't been abusive to myself, but I just haven't been as healthy as I have always wanted to be. Whilst thinking I was pregnant this whole past week, I have been so good to my body. I have been truly watching what I've eaten, I've used more moisturizer on skin, I've been flossing way more than any normal person should, and I've been working to get as much sleep as possible. I have finally been able to experience a mini-accomplishment with the notion of doing it for someone else - I'm not sure if that's good that it took the idea of bettering myself for someone else to get me going, but perhaps you understand where I'm coming from. We always say we want to be better for our children, and when I thought for a slim chance I needed to be better for my child, I did it, in a second, and I didn't think twice about it. That's what I think true love and sacrifice is about, and it's so miraculous that we have the ability to have such a devout love for someone we may have only thought about or haven't even met.
The other positive outcome from my journey this past week was how much I have been praying. I prayed asking for confirmation, one way or another, I prayed for patience until I found out if I was pregnant or not, I prayed for peace to come over me regardless of God's decision to bless us with a child now or not, and I prayed for comfort after I found out that the time was not now.
I've never claimed to have a great faith, but only to want one, and through an emotionally and physically draining experience like this past week, I feel as though I'm stumbled upon something great. Through this tough experience, that so many families face for months and sometimes years, I found myself being taught a lesson I never thought I needed, God has every answer and really is there. I've never felt Him there more than this past week as I pleaded to be blessed with something we weren't even trying for.
I may seem like the most positive person on the planet right now because I'm trying to find the good so quickly in such a sad event, but I promise you that I'm human too. Through some of our darkest times, God finds ways to lift us up and out of the dark clouds.
This past week, I thought that Andrew and I were pregnant. I've had every pregnancy symptom in the book since last Tuesday and I was very, very excited, although we weren't exactly trying yet.
I've always made it a goal of mine to be better to my body, and don't get me wrong, I haven't been abusive to myself, but I just haven't been as healthy as I have always wanted to be. Whilst thinking I was pregnant this whole past week, I have been so good to my body. I have been truly watching what I've eaten, I've used more moisturizer on skin, I've been flossing way more than any normal person should, and I've been working to get as much sleep as possible. I have finally been able to experience a mini-accomplishment with the notion of doing it for someone else - I'm not sure if that's good that it took the idea of bettering myself for someone else to get me going, but perhaps you understand where I'm coming from. We always say we want to be better for our children, and when I thought for a slim chance I needed to be better for my child, I did it, in a second, and I didn't think twice about it. That's what I think true love and sacrifice is about, and it's so miraculous that we have the ability to have such a devout love for someone we may have only thought about or haven't even met.
The other positive outcome from my journey this past week was how much I have been praying. I prayed asking for confirmation, one way or another, I prayed for patience until I found out if I was pregnant or not, I prayed for peace to come over me regardless of God's decision to bless us with a child now or not, and I prayed for comfort after I found out that the time was not now.
I've never claimed to have a great faith, but only to want one, and through an emotionally and physically draining experience like this past week, I feel as though I'm stumbled upon something great. Through this tough experience, that so many families face for months and sometimes years, I found myself being taught a lesson I never thought I needed, God has every answer and really is there. I've never felt Him there more than this past week as I pleaded to be blessed with something we weren't even trying for.
I may seem like the most positive person on the planet right now because I'm trying to find the good so quickly in such a sad event, but I promise you that I'm human too. Through some of our darkest times, God finds ways to lift us up and out of the dark clouds.
"I can do all things through Him who gives me strength."
Philippians 4:13
J.M.
