Serving Your Spouse

The last few months I have been going through small bouts of depression and loneliness, and nothing has been more painful than going through these feelings amidst knowing just how blessed I am. The Lord has blessed me with good health and the health of my loved ones, safety, education, freedom, love and a wonderful husband. I can honestly say that I have everything I have ever hoped for and I am very blessed. I always dreamt of myself meeting Prince Charming at a young age and getting married – and when I almost thought that dream wasn’t going to ever come true, I met Andrew, and we were drawn to each other by an inexplicable pull, it was in fact, “a God thing”. So why, when surrounded by love and blessings was I feeling so alone, blemished and sad? Andrew and my parents consoled me many times throughout the short battle and I couldn’t seem to snap out of it. But a lot of my loneliness and sadness stemmed from our location. We are away from family, away from friends, trying to make new friends, and we work and participate in a lot so our time together during the week is sparse. I told Andrew that I was the happiest on weekends, when it was just him and I and we got to spend quality time together for hours at a time.

This weekend, while attending the Art of Marriage retreat, I finally decided that I had had enough of feeling sad; I needed more time with my husband and more of God in my life. Every time I felt sad at home and I told Andrew that we weren’t spending enough time together during the week, I expected him to say he would make more time, and he did, but was it Andrew and his schedule that should have to change? This weekend it finally dawned on me, I should be the one changing my schedule for him, not the other way around. So I told him that I would start waking up at 5am with him, even though I didn’t need to be up until 6:30 am, so that we could talk, go for a jog, read the Bible, something, anything, to feel like I was serving my husband more than just making him dinner at night.

Today was day 1 of waking up early, and right after daylight savings time too, it wasn’t easy. But Andrew let me sleep a little longer and woke me when he was out of the shower so we could sit on the couch and read the Bible together. I offered to stay awake until he left for work but I think he knew how tired I was and let me go back to sleep – see what I mean? He’s wonderful.

In so many little ways we can serve our spouse without them even knowing it or requesting it. One of the hardest things to learn is that when you’re quick to blame your spouse or want to see a change in them, the first thing you should do is try to change yourself – that’s how God works. You can’t pray asking God to fix them, when really, God needs to help you fix yourself before He can work on someone else.

How can you work on yourself to serve your spouse today?

Happy Living & God's Blessings!

J.M.