Whole Heartedly Honest

Today's Date: September 15th, 2013
Days Until Our Wedding: 6
Today's Overall Mood: Positive
Today, I am nervous about: Leaving my parents
Today, I'm looking forward to: Our Wedding Day

Today, my parents and I went to church for the last time before I'm married and I move away. In fact, I think this week will be full of lasts before our big day. After church we ate and then mom and I went on a shopping adventure for the first part of the day. We came home exhausted and embarked upon a much needed nap. We woke to snuggle on the couch and watch some TV. 

We are 6 days from my wedding and it has never felt farther away. Now that all of the planning is done and wedding planning hasn't been on my brain at every waking minute, I find myself not thinking about the wedding at all, which I think might be scaring me the most. I'm trying so hard to soak up every last with my parents and being in our home, the way we are. It pains me to think about all the exciting things before me, and all of the wonderful things I'm leaving behind. That timeless lump in my throat emerges just thinking about not being here, in this place; in this shelter. I'm reminded of all the things I will be missing out on, most of all, precious time with my parents, and all that they will be missing out on in my new life. You never know when God will call one of His children home, and my greatest fear is losing those that I love. Unfortunately, this is not a new experience for me. I have lost two wonderful grandparents who became pivotal people in my life as they came to the close of theirs. I fear, now more than ever, that living away from my parents, no matter the distance, will create a gap in our relationship that can never be bridged or mended. It will be a changing of the guard; a hand-off from my former life as a child, their baby, into womanhood and wifehood. My coming of age ceremony will officially brand me, in my parents' eyes, as a grown up. But does getting married really change all that much? When I come home, I'm still fully prepared to snuggle with my momma and get into deep discussions with my dad. The changes that will occur are: living 2.5 hours away, integrating a new handsome man into our family, and my last name being different from the one I was given at birth. That's no big deal, right?

Don't get me wrong, I'm so very excited to marry my Andrew, it just hasn't hit me yet...at all! Perhaps it will feel closer once my parents, family, friends and I all arrive in Columbus. We are heading down on Thursday morning and then just a few days later, I will be walking down the aisle into his arms. Then the next day I will officially move and then two days later, start a new job. If you just grasped what I said, you're thinking we're insane. I will be getting married, moving, and starting a new job in less than 5 days...maybe we are insane! 

Photo taken last year on an autumn walk